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Elle

[ website | myspaz ]
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Goodbye, Livejournal. Hello, Tumblr <3 [Jan. 21st, 2011|07:16 pm]
Elle
[Current Mood |okayokay]

Just figured I'd let let everyone know I'm still alive. And by everyone, I mean whoever still reads this. So probably noone. But oh well. Due to work, school, and tumblr, I haven't updated this thing in forever. This will probably be my last post, unless I get the urge to post in the future, but I don't see that happening. Tumblr is just so much...more fun...faster...just, better XD; I do, however, still visit LJ on an almost daily basis to look through my friends page. And by friends I mean communities, haha, seriously, my "friends page" is just a bunch of pictures, icons, and fanfics. But anyway, since I've gotten this far, I might as well talk a bit about my actual life. Umm let's see here, I finally graduated college! And by college I mean community college, but whatever. I now have a degree in Liberal Arts which is another way of saying Basic Classes which is another way of saying I Don't Know What The Fuck I Wanna Do With My Life. The only reason I went to college in the first place was to get my parents off my ass. But now we're right back to square one: I still don't know what I want to do with my life and I'm still living with my parents and I'm still working at Dollar General. Which I'm totally fine with, I'd be completely content with working there for the rest of my life and living in some shitty apartment. As long as I have internet and cable, I'm good. Just throw a mattress on the floor and gimme some ramen and I'm set for life. But I don't know how I'll ever be able to afford an apartment. Most people I know who don't live with their parents, live with a boyfriend/girlfriend. And my girlfriend lives all the way in Arizona. So right now, I'm still living with my parents, and will continue to do so until they kick me out. Which...I'm not entirely sure how long that will be. I'm hoping I've at least got another year before they got completely sick of me. I just want a year to just relax, you know? I mean, I've been going to school since preschool. This is the first time since then that I don't have to stress out about homework all the time. And it's fuckin great XD Oh, and by the way, I'm typing all of this from my very own LAPTOP that my dad got me as a graduation/Christmas present. I've wanted a laptop more than anything for like...ever. And I finally have one! And I love it! And it's red too <3 Anyway, I guess that's pretty much it. Like I said, I'm think I'm done with LJ (posting entries anyway) but feel free to follow me on Tumblr. http://imaveryneatmonster.tumblr.com/
Peace!
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Happy birthday to Glenn Close! <3 [Mar. 19th, 2010|02:42 pm]
Elle
[mood| amused]
[music| 1901 - Phoenix]

Wow, I'm actually updating ON someone's birthday, rather than a few days after. That's right, bitches, it's Glenn Close's birthday, and while I wouldn't necessarily go as far as to refer to her as one of my "lovers", I respect the shit out of her as an actress. She's freaking AMAZING. Plus, I think it's great that she generally plays scary women on TV, but in person (like on talk shows and shit), she's hilarious and fun. And Patty Hewes owns me. She's such a badass. I love how she immediately establishes dominance over anyone she meets. It's fucking sexy. But I also love how she SO is in love with Ellen and she misses the shit out of her, and she hired that new bitch to make Ellen jealous (and it SO worked) and...GAH, I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THEIR LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP. Seriously. Guys have porn. I have Damages. That's all there is to it. So basically...I wouldn't refer to Glenn Close as one of my "lovers" even though I do love her...but I would definitely refer to Patty Hewes as one of my "lovers"...because RAWR, ya know? Bwahahahaha, it's complicated XD;
Oh, and speaking of complicated, I'd like to take a few minutes to talk about Anna Kendrick. I've never seen her in anything, but I've seen her on, like, red carpet shit and stuff...I don't even know, I don't even remember where I first saw her, but anyway, I think she's freaking gorgeous...but I want to punch her in the face. (Or at least I did). I have no idea why. There's just something about her...I can't figure out what it is, but it's there (or it was). So every time I see her (or every time I saw her...I'm making this even more complicated than it is), I'm like, "GOD DAMN, SHE'S SO FUCKING HOT......WHY DO I WANNA PUNCH HER SO BAD?! I'M SORRY. I'M SO SORRY, BUT I REALLY REALLY WANNA HIT YOU". So I decided I'm going to do research and figure out if I can figure out what it is that bothers me about her. It's going to be an ongoing project (it ended today). Like, I plan(ned) on eventually watching Up In The Air, which is a movie I want to see anyways...and I'm watching an Anna Kendrick group on LJ now. And the other day at work, I was on break, and I was reading People magazine and there was a picture in there of Anna Kendrick AND SIGOURNEY WEAVERRRR <3 And Anna's face was like 8D Seriously, her eyes were all big and her mouth was open in a huge grin. IT WAS ADORABLE. And I was like OMG I HATE YOU SO MUCH LESS NOW. Cuz that's exactly what my face would look like if I ever got to meet Sigourney Weaver XD So anyways, then I remembered that the best way for me to figure out if I love or hate a celeb, is to watch them on Craig Ferguson. Because Craig reminds me a lot myself (Amanda used to always say that Craig is a guy version of me XD) and if someone gets along with Craig, and gets his sense of humor, they'd probably get along with me too. So I youtubed Anna on Craig today. I'm pretty sure it was her first time being on Craig...and I LIKED her. Not once did she look at Craig like he's an idiot, or say anything mean to him. Plus, she seems really sweet and friendly and down-to-earth and even funny. I was so happy. I don't know why I ever had a problem with her. I'M SORRY, ANNA, ILY DX So now I REALLY wanna see Up In The Air. I still however, have no desire to see Twilight...even though both her AND Kristen Stewart are in it...and that Ashley Greene chick is hot too. I mean, I'm sure I'll eventually break down and rent it...but I don't WANT to. So I may be crazy...but at least I don't like Twilight.
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Happy belated birthday to Olivia Wilde! <3 [Mar. 11th, 2010|11:23 am]
Elle
[mood| irritated]
[music| Gorillaz - Plastic Beach ]

Yesterday was Olivia Wilde's birthday, and I planned on updating...but once again, I failed. But I'm updating now. Because I have nothing better to do. I'm at skool. I've been here since 8:00. Normally, I have Math from 8:10-9:10, then History from 9:55-11:25 or something, and then Psych from 11:40-1:10. But for some reason, my History teacher cancelled class for, like, 3 whole weeks...which is awesome because I despise that class. But I've had from 9:10-11:40 free and it gets really boring really fast. Today, I got out of math earlier than usual. I just spent an hour and a half in the cafeteria. I read a book, stared off into space, watched some boxelder bugs (this skool is always riddled with them. At any moment, no matter where you are in the skool, you can look around you and spot at least one. In fact, I got attacked by one the other day. I was here in the lie-berry and I could have sworn I saw something flying around but when I looked up, I didn't see anything. So I went back to what I was doing, and noticed a boxelder bug on the keyboard. So I sat and watched it for a bit. It crawled around for a little, then I could tell it was gettin ready to fly off. Normally, I would have flicked it away...but it was facing the opposite direction, so I figured it'd just fly away...but it took off and immediately did a U-turn directly into my face. So I of course start violently shaking my head and flailing and spitting (it hit me, like, right on the mouth) and I could feel the girl at the computer next to me, looking at me, so when I finally calmed down, I looked at her, hoping she would look at me and I could just be like, "I got attacked by a boxelder bug" and she would laugh. But she just pretended she didn't see anything DX) and ate a small bag of fritos, one by one. At one point, I walked down here to the lie-berry to look for a computer, but they were all full, so I had to walk back...which normally wouldn't have been a big deal. But today, there's a table in the hallway with people sitting behind it, selling raffle tickets of some sort. So every time I walk by it (which has been 3 times so far), they attack me: "WANNA BUY A RAFFLE TICKET?! YOU COULD WIN A FREE MEAL AT APPLEBEE'S" or something. And all 3 times, I ignored them. And all 3 times, as I was walking away, I could hear them muttering to eachother about how rude I am. But I hate that shit! DX I mean, if I wanted to be heckled, I'd go to a goddamn carnival! But I plan on hiding out in here until Psych, so I won't have to see them again until it gets over. And hopefully there will be a bunch of other people surrounding me, so they won't single me out. But anyway...I am SO ready to get out of here. Next week is spring break, so I'm even more restless than usual. Oh, and unless something changes, my sister's coming to visit on Saturday! I'm so excited. She plans on coming Saturday night and leaving Monday morning ^_^ Not only am I excited to hang out with my sister, but I'm also hoping she can talk some sense into my mom. My mom basically thinks I'm an alcoholic. The first time I ever got drunk, I was, like, 19. And between then and my 21st birthday, I got drunk maybe, 10 times. Most kids are out getting wasted every weekend by the time they turn 15. But I never did that. a)Because I didn't really have many friends, muchless friends who drank, and b)Because I don't like getting in trouble. So I waited. I waited until I turned 21. And now, every Saturday, I have a few rum&cokes. Usually about 4. Very rarely do I go over 4. And this is throughout the course of several hours. It's not like I get SHITFACED. I mean, sure, I've puked a couple times, but that was in the very beginning, when I was testing my limits and shit. I don't go out driving around, I don't get loud and angry and belligerent. I just sit in the front bedroom, have a few rum&cokes, and play video games and/or watch TV with my brother. Every Saturday. One day a week. And as you know, the day after Saturday is Sunday. And on Sunday, I have absolutely NOTHING to do. No skool, no work, nothing. So I can sleep in and not neglect anything. What I'm doing is legal and I'm doing it responsibly. Yet my mom is on my ass about it ALL. THE TIME. And my dad too, who's an alcoholic, btw. Every Saturday, my mom and/or dad will tell me "go easy, Rachelle" about 10 times before the night's over. Even though I rarely exceed the limit of 4. And it pisses me off. Because she makes me feel like I'm a bad person for drinking. And I KNOW I'm not a bad person but she makes me feel that way. I could see if I was drinking during the week, getting shitfaced, driving around, neglecting skool and/or work, etc. BUT I'M NOT. I'm simply relaxing weekly with the help of a few alcoholic beverages. And I've told my mom this before. And she says, "Yeah, that's how it starts out, Rachelle, and then before you know it, you're drinking all the time, because you need it to cope with your problems". Which is the exact same thing she said to me about smoking 3 years ago. I started smoking when I turned 18. But as far as smokers go, I'm hardly considered a smoker. I have 3 a day AT THE MOST (unless I'm, like, getting wasted at a party or something, which very rarely happens, seeing as how I have very few friends). Usually, I only smoke on days that I work, which is 3 days a week. I'll have one cigarette right before I clock in, and one when I go on my break. That's IT. Unless I'm working with Sarai, who is a fairly heavy smoker and will invite me to step outside with her for a cigarette when we have no customers. I have smoked that much since I was 18. And my mom hated it. And she kept saying, "That's how it starts out, Rachelle, but before you know it you'll be smokin more and more and more". That was THREE YEARS AGO. And I don't smoke any more now than I did then. Which I believe has a lot to do with the fact that I waited until I was 18 to smoke. I took an Adolescent Psych class a few years back and learned that kids who do potentially addictive things (smoke, drink, do drugs, even have sex) between the ages of, like, 14 and 17 or something, are WAY more likely to form a habit, because in that time of your life, your brain is still developing. And if you ask people who drink, smoke, do drugs, have sex all the time, etc, if you ask them when they first started, their answer will more than likely be somewhere in that crucial age frame. Because that's when most kids experiement with that type of shit. But not me. I waited. And I think that has a lot to do with why I'm able to keep it in check. I mean, how many smokers do you know that can go a whole day without having a cigarette? I can. Yet my mom still believes that I'm going to become a pack-a-day smoker and an alcoholic. I can completely understand why she has a hatred for alcohol. Her ex husband was an alcoholic, and so is my dad. But I'm not going to end up like that. I hate drunks just as much as she does (except for the cool, funny, drunk old dudes XD). I hate how drinking is all anyone between the ages of 13 and 25 do, and talk about. But until I end up like them (which I won't), I just wish she would get off my ass. I have a job, I'm going to skool (and doing well), and I'm an all-around GOOD PERSON. Yet she makes me feel like the fuckin devil because I like to have a few drinks on the weekend. Anyway, I'm hoping my sister will agree with me, and tell my mom she needs to quit being such a psycho. OH AND ALSO, last Sunday morning, while I was sleeping, apparently, for some reason, my brother got bored and decided to pour some rum from my big jug into my mostly empty, smaller bottle (which is what I do, but hadn't done it the night before) and my mom walked in and thought he was drinking (at 10:00 in the morning) and took both bottles and hid them in her room. And I talked to her about it, and she told me that she thinks my brother has been drinking my rum. I know for a fact, he hasn't, because I WOULD FUCKING NOTICE. She told me that SHE KNEW that the night before (Saturday), my brother was drunk. Which he wasn't. Plus, both my parents were sitting in the living room ALL night, and they would have seen him, had he gone out into the kitchen to steal some of my rum (which is kept in a cabinet in plain view of anyone sitting in the recliner or the couch, which is where my dad and mom were, respectively). I told her this, but she's still convinced that my brother was drunk off of my rum, and that he drinks my rum all the time...so therefore, she doesn't want me to bring alcohol in the house. I, of course, flipped out on her (not because I'm an alcholic, but because she's clearly being unreasonable, punishing me for something my brother may or may not be doing) and she said, "You can have it back, but you're not keeping it out here anymore, that's for damn sure. You're not keeping it anywhere where he can get to it" (which is pretty much ANYWHERE. I mean, anywhere HE can't get to it, I wouldn't be able to get to it either). So I was like, "What do you want me to do, buy a freaking SAFE?!" and she was like, ".......I don't know. I don't know, Rachelle, we'll figure out a solution, but you're sure as hell not keeping it out here." So I have no idea what's going to happen this weekend. Because I sure as fuck can't afford a goddamn safe. AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO. So that's another reason I'm hoping my sister can talk to my mom, and talk her out of withholding my own rum from me (WHICH I PAYED FOR, AND WHICH I DRINK RESPONSIBLY) just because she suspects my idiotic brother is drinking it. Oh, and obviously, me and my mom have been arguing about this quite a bit lately, and last week, I broke down and cried (this was before she took my rum. I cried because I'm sick of my parents making me feel like an alcoholic psycho just cuz I like to have a few drinks on the weekend. Plus I've been all messed up lately anyway, what with Amanda and stuff) but of course, my mom thought that I was crying because I was drunk and because I'm an alcoholic. So she's making me go back to counseling. Which is fine by me, as long as it doesn't interfere with my TV shows (THAT, I'm addicted to). Plus, this time around, I'll more than likely be put on meds. Which I think I've needed to be on for a long time now. I've suffered from anxiety my whole life, and between Amanda doing what she did, and my parents being on my ass, I've been depressed lately too. So I think counseling will be a good thing. Plus, maybe my counseler can tell my mom how unreasonable she's being and get her to back off. Anyways, I guess that's enough of me ranting. I haven't ranted on here in a while though. It felt good. Plus I now only have 20 mins til my next class, which means I've killed a lot of time on here ^_^
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RIP Amanda Silverman [Take 2] [Feb. 28th, 2010|08:45 pm]
Elle
[mood| lonely]
[music|Day-O - Harry Belafonte]

Dear Amanda,

I can't believe you're gone. I don't think I'll ever get used to it. I've become so dependent on our nightly talks, I honestly don't know how I'm going to get by without them. Noone understands me like you did and noone ever will. You knew me better than I knew myself. We've talked on the phone every night for the past, what, 3, 4 years? I don't even know. I can't remember exactly when it was that you found me on xanga and you called me for the first time. What was it that drew you to me anyway? If I can remember, I think it was the fact that I like ICP and Invader Zim. I remember you telling me how you couldn't believe that someone that cool lived in Iowa. Anyway, ever since then, we became closer and closer each day. I have never been that close to anyone. Ever. We told eachother everything. Even on days when both of us just sat on our asses, we'd still find stupid shit to talk about and laugh about that night. Shit that other people would think was stupid, you would find hilarious. That's what I loved about you. You had the same weird, quirky sense of humor I do. Plus, you were just as gay as me XP I was watching The Sarah Silverman Program the other day. You would have loved the episode, it was about gay marriage. And one of the gay guys, Brian or Steve, I can't remember which, said about the other one, "Just when I think I'm as gay as I can get...the son of a bitch makes me gayer" and I thought of you XD I'll miss squealing over women with you late at night, haha. But you were also always there for me when I needed to be serious. Any time I had a problem, I knew I could call you and you'd make me laugh. And vice-versa. No matter how bummed I was, you'd make me feel better. But now...I'm more bummed than I've ever been...and you're not here. It's weird, because the night I found out, that thought kept popping into my head. "Shit, I need to call Amanda" even though I knew I couldn't. But you were my go-to girl. And now I'm just completely lost. I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it. I feel like I'm going to explode if I can't call you every night and tell you every single thing that happened to me that day, and hear about yours, and tell you about how hot I think (insert random female celeb here) is, haha. So I'm going to continue to talk to you every night. And I know you can hear me. Because, on the night that I found out about all of this, I went into my room, and I cried. And for some reason, I turned on the radio. I never turn on the radio, except for in the mornings, before skool, so I can listen to Dave & Darren. But that night, I turned it on. And I cried. And I looked over, and I saw that advertisement you gave me a while ago, with the picture of the Geico money. And I picked it up and I walked over to my "toking area", and set it down there...and right when I did, a commercial came on. "Hey, dude. What's that?" "Oh, you mean the stack of money with the googly eyes?" It was a Geico commercial. I hadn't heard a Geico commercial on the radio on a long time. And this particular one, I had NEVER heard. Like, the dude actually said "googly eyes" haha. And you know the rest: "Oh, that's just the money you could be saving with Geico." and then the song "I always feel like somebody's waaatchin' meeeee". And I knew. I knew you were watching me. And it made me feel a little bit better. It gave me hope. I mean, you know me, I'm not a religious person, but I know that if you had a way of showing me that you were with me, it'd be with the Geico money XD I'm considering getting that tramp stamp of the Geico money now, like we always joked about...but I think I'd rather get the phoenix you always talked about. The only thing is, I'm too broke to get it...whereas the Geico tramp stamp would be cheaper, and hilarious. I would purposely go to public pools just so I could wear a swimsuit and people would see it and go, "What the hell is that?" and I could go, "That's the money you could be saving with Geico" and then turn around, and walk away while singing the song XD Hahhh, see, I'm feeling better already, just typing to you. And I know you'll read this. You were pretty much the only person that ever read my blog anyway. I think I'm gonna continue to do this. Like, I'll type my usual bullshit and then have a second section with stories that noone but you would find funny. Like for instance, the other day, I was watching the Today show (fuck yeahhhh) and I fell asleep during it and had a dream about Hoda. She, was, like, on some sort of crazy drug and she was in a truck just chillin' and trippin' lol, and I walked up to her and was talking to her and then I was like, "Hey, I gotta go" and she was like, "Hurry back, babyyyy" and like, started stripping for me. And her body was rockin'. Ahahaha, I can almost hear you know, "UGH, DUDE. NOOOO" hahaha. Oh, and speaking of people you like to make fun of...I have a Susan Sarandon story! Hahahahaha, no, it's funny, trust me. I was on-line, and I decided to google Anastasia Griffith, one of my lovers from Damages, and I came across this picture of her making out with another chick. And I was like, "HWAHHHTTTT?! YES PLZ" and I did some research and found out that the movie was called Alfie...so I put it on hold at the lie-berry. And rented it. And Susan Sarandon was on the cover DX But I watched it anyway. And it sucked. It was the most pointless movie I've ever seen. And the girl-on-girl makout scene with Anastasia was about 5 seconds long, and that was it. Was it worth it? I'm still not sure XD Oh, and also, I watched Fatal Attraction today, an old Glenn Close movie where she plays a psycho stalker. It was fuckin' GREAT. It was scary, but in a good way. Glenn was so terrifying in it. The way she acted, and also the way she looked, haha. She had some crazy hair, dude, like, she looked fucked up. But she was amazing in it and it was an awesome movie. I wish you could have seen it. Although, I keep telling myself that when I'm watching something, you're right there watching it with me. So now I DEFINITELY can't miss any episodes of our shows. Not like I ever would anyways, you know me. Speaking of shows, and not to be all depressing or anything, but that's one of the things that floored me about what you did. I mean, not only did you leave me here, alone and wondering...BUT YOU LEFT WITHOUT WAITING TO SEE THE KATHY GRIFFIN EPISODE OF LAW & ORDER: SVU!!! I'm almost positive you acted without thinking AT ALL. I know this because, if you had thought, you would have called me. And if I didn't pick up, you would have called someone else...Faith, maybe. Oh, by the way, her and I have talked quite a bit since all this went down. We've been trying to help eachother get through this, which I'm sure makes you happy (I've also been keeping in touch with Marissa, who is how I found out the horrible news from. We talked a lot on the phone that night, just crying and trying to figure out WHY). Anyway, Faith told me that you guys met for the first time on Thursday, and that it went really well. Which is another reason, I can't believe this. You had so much. So many people that loved you. But whatever, I'm not going to sit here and lecture you on my blog. (But know that I WILL kick your ass when I get to heaven, haha). BUT ANYWAYS....I know that if you had stopped to think, even for a second, you would have called me, and also...you would have been like, "Ehhh, I gotta wait to see that Kathy Griffin episode of SVU.." haha. I bet anything, you got to heaven, looked around and then went, "SHIT! I FORGOT ABOUT SVU!!! GODDAMMIT SON OF A BITCH, JESUS CHRIST" and then God walked past and was like >.>; LOL But no worries, homie, I'll be watchin' this Wednesday and you're more than welcome to join me. In fact, I expect you to join me every time I watch anything you're even remotely interested in. Or even if ya just feel like spendin' time with me. (Although, I will forgive you if you don't want to sit through any of the Alien movies). Also, I plan on bumping my music in my car a little louder than usual, so you can hear it. I will continue to make Ripper roos, only now, they won't just be a tribute to Ripper roo, they will be a tribute to you. Because you loved my mixes as much as I did, if not more. Every time I made a new one, I'd burn a copy for me, and a copy for you. And that night, when I'd call you, I'd be all, "Duuuude! The newest Ripper roo's done! When can I come by your work and drop it off?" and then the night I gave it to you, I'd call you and "1...2...3...PLAY" we would listen to it together for the first time. And you never listened to it without me. Even if I went a few days without calling, when I did call and ask if you had listened to it yet, you'd be like, "Hell no, dude, I'd never listen to it without you". And I won't ever listen to them without you. Every time I listen to one, hell, any time I listen to ANY music, I'll think of you, and hope that you're listening...because I know that when it came to music, anything I liked, you liked. Except maybe for the "I Wanna Marry Sigourney Weaver" song, haha. Oh, and speaking of music, at your funeral on Friday (which by the way, was the hardest thing I have EVER had to do), all I could think was, "They should play Day-O by Harry Belafonte". Cuz I know that's exactly what you would have wanted. In fact, when the guy at the podium asked, "Does anyone else have anything they would like to say?" after your brothers and sister, I wished I had the nerve to go up there, stand tall, head held high, look out into the crowd, and loud and clear, go "DAYYYYYYYY-O. DAAAYYYYYYY-O. DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WANNN GO HOME. DAY! ME SAY DAY ME SAY DAY ME SAY DAY ME SAY DAYYYYYYYY-O. DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WANNNN GOOO HOME. ......WORK ALL NIGHT, AND A DRINK A RUM!" and then everyone would join in, "Daylight come and me wann go home" and so on. But I couldn't stop crying, and could barely form sentences. Plus, even if I could have, somehow I don't it would have gone over too well. Although I'm sure you would have laughed your ass off XD Instead though, they played some pop/rock/emo type song. It was alright, but I couldn't help wishing the song selection was up to me, haha. Oh, and during your brother's speech, he mentioned your love for Out of Africa (which I still need to see...) and he mentioned the poster of it in your room, "featuring (whoever else is in that movie) and Meryl Streep." and even though I was bawling, inside, I went "heeeee". And he also mentioned your dogs, obviously, and then I cried even harder. Your dogs are the shit. Especially NATALIEEEEE <333 I'll miss hangin' out with em. In fact, I'm still debating whether or not I wanna go break into your house and kidnap Natalie, haha. Oh, and I hope you appreciated me wearing my zebra chucks to your funeral, haha. I'm sure you were lookin' down on me, thinkin' "Classic Rachelle..." haha. And my mom kept offering me kleenex, but I was like, "Nah, I have one already" and whipped out that candy cane fabric you gave me last time we hung out (which was, what, a few short weeks ago?). I'm sure people were like, "Wtf, who brings their own HANKY? And a CANDY CANE one? Weirdo..." haha. And I wore the hatchetman necklace you gave me. The real one. In fact, I'm wearing it right now. I've worn it every day since, even to work (I just keep it underneath my work shirt). I was reading your 'about me' on your myspace the other day, and immediately started crying when I got to that whole bit about me and how much I mean to you and how I'm always here for you and all that. And I read the part about how you'll be "down with the clown/crown til I'm dead in the ground and even then I still will be down, because they are my family" and that's true. You're a true juggalette through and through. I'll miss hearing you sing along to ICP when I was on the phone with you, even if it did get a bit annoying when you would end up singing almost an ENTIRE song while on the phone with me, LOL. *sigh* My phone is so quiet now that you're gone. You were always the reason it was vibrating. 9 times outta 10, if my phone went off, it'd be you, texting or calling. Oh, by the way, speaking of texts, I texted you on Saturday night, drunk, and completely unaware you were no longer with us, telling you how I was watching Planet Earth, which is narrated by Sigourney Weaver and I was "wetter than a slaughterhouse floor" haha. That was a quote from Weeds that I thought only you would be able to see the humor through the grossness of it, haha. And when I found out what had happened, after the initial shock, I was like, "Fuck, I hope her mom didn't see that text..." LOL. Well, I think I've rambled enough for tonight, but just know that I'm always thinkin' about you. And even if ever I manage to forget, I have reminders all over the place. All the random shit you've given me over the years (the light-up frog, that squishy yellow thing with the eyeballs, the Demi Lovato nightlight, etc...) and the not so random shit (KMK, MY FRIGGIN' IPOD <3, etc...), you'll always be with me. And I'll always be with you. Like I said before, I think I'll continute to type shit to you on here, because this has made me feel better. ...If I remember correctly, your last words to me were, "Night, dude" because that's always what you said right before we hung up the phone every night. And so that's what I'd like to say to you. Night, dude <3
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RIP Amanda Silverman [Take 1] [Feb. 25th, 2010|01:42 pm]
Elle
[mood| numb]
[music|Beyond the Gray Sky - 311]

(Right now, all I am able to do is post song lyrics)

It is a gift, I know
A moment of bliss that we hold
A firecracker flash of light then on to the next plane
Soul remain
Come along, if you dare
It's gonna be that you're scared
Lovely life, I thank you for the reason
To see the pain through

Light a candle for the dead
The wick is burning returning what we have
It's who we are
We'll reach you if you're beyond the furthest star

Don't give up the fight to stay alive and even if you have to
Find the reason of another's pain if they lose you
If not for yourself then those around who care like I do
One day you'll see the clear blue

Beyond the gray sky
Beyond the gray sky
Beyond the gray sky

Light a candle...
The wick...
It's who we are...

One...one day you'll see the clear blue
Beyond the gray sky
Beyond the gray sky
Beyond the gray sky

I can't believe you didn't call
What made you want to end it all?
Wasn't there something I should have tried?
To help you see beyond the gray sky
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Happy belated birthday to Minnie Driver! <3 [Feb. 1st, 2010|01:08 pm]
Elle
[mood| horny]
[music|I Wanna Marry Sigourney Weaver - Scott Zeif]

Alright, I think it's been long enough since I've updated this thing. I usually use my celebrity lovers' birthdays as incentive to update, but, there hasn't been any in a long time. But Minnie Driver's birthday was yesterday and I still didn't update...but I'm doing it now, dammit! CUZ IT'S MINNIE DRIVER, HOMIE!!!
I'm in a new semester of skool now. And it sucks. I'm taking Algebra II for the third time. (I usually get As and Bs in all my other classes, but I just cannot pass Algebra II). But I like the teacher I have this semester. I've taken Algebra II with a high-strung southern lady, and an odd, but nice nerdy dude, and now I'm taking it with a nice, laid back lady, who in some way reminds me of Bonnie Hunt. It's probably just the blonde hair and the glasses, but it can only be a good thing, yes? Haha, I love Bonnie Hunt XD But yeah, so hopefully, the third time will be the charm for me when it comes to that damn class. Other than that, I'm taking US History, Psych of Personality, and then Abnormal Psych on-line. I absolutely HATE the US History class. I've never liked history anyway. I just cannot pay attention to it, it bores the hell out of me. But I somehow managed to get through it in junior high and high skool. But this class I'm taking now...I'd rather be shot. It's SO. FUCKING. BORING. And the teacher talks all monotone like the teacher from Ferris Bueller (...Bueller?....Bueller?....Anyone?....Anyone?...) and plus, he's mean. And as if that's not bad enough, I decided to try to save some money and order the book on-line...but I got the "concise" edition of the book, which is completely different. So I'm way behind on the reading (as if I could actually comprehend any of it anyway, BUT STILL). But on Thursday, this girl sat next to me and complimented my Dexter shirt and we chatted a bit, and she let me use her book during the class and copy down all the vocab words, and then after class, she told me this is her 2nd time taking the class (which worried me a little, but whatever, I'll take any help I can get) and she has all the tests from last semester, and she'll let me study from em! (And everyone's always telling me how BAD my TV show obsessions are...). My Personality Psych class isn't too bad I guess (I've always like Psychology), but it's an hour and a half long, and it's right after that history class, which is also an hour and a half long, which is after an hour-long break, which I have right after my math class....so by the time I get to it, I'm like GAH I AM SO READY TO GO HOME, GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE. And the teacher ALWAYS makes us stay RIGHT up to the end. I've taken several Psych courses there, with a different teacher, and she RARELY made us stay for the full hour and a half. So I'm, like, jumping out of my skin during the last half hour of class DX And then there's my on-line Psych class. It wouldn't be too bad if I could actually REMEMBER TO DO THE SHIT. I even write it down in my planner 'ATTEND ON-LINE DISCUSSION, READ THIS CHAPTER' and I STILL forget about it. Every time. Because I'm too busy worrying about my other ACTUAL classes. Which is exactly what happened last semester in my Environmental Science on-line class...which I'm pretty sure I failed DX But I had to take it on-line in order for it to fit my schedule. But, ooh, speaking of schedule, I actually have some good news! At work, I traded Stacy Monday nights for Tuesday nights! So now I have Mondays off! Which means I can watch House, Heroes, and Damages when they air! And I have no shows on Tuesday, so I don't have to worry about shit while I'm at work! I am SO happy about this, you have no idea X3 Oh! And speaking of Damages, would you like to hear the hell I went through to get seasn 2 on DVD?! Of course you do! (I haven't updated in so long, I'm gonna make up for lost time). OK, so a while ago, I was on-line, and came across the release date for season 2 of Damages on DVD...so I wrote it down on a piece of paper on the computer desk, and then forgot about it. But I knew it was January something. So when January rolled around, I was like, "Shit, I'd better find that relase date". So I looked and looked and looked but couldn't find it. (My computer desk is a mess, and there's like, 3 notebooks on it with every single page filled with shit like that) so I decided to just google it. But I couldn't find it on-line either! Which REALLY pissed me off, because I mean, how hard can it be to find a DVD release date on the internet? But I googled it, I searched it on Amazon, I went to the Damages official site, and I could NOT find the damn release date. But I had asked for a Best Buy gift card for Christmas so that I could use it SPECIFICALLY for season 2 of Damages. And the thing about Best Buy is, they usually have decent prices...IF you buy a CD or DVD RIGHT when it comes out. So I went into Best Buy every Tuesday for the first, like, 2 weeks of January, just to see if it had come out. Both times, it hadn't. Well, then one day after skool, I stopped by Wal Mart to pick up Ghostbusters 1 & 2 (they came TOGETHER for like $9. Hell yeah) and I saw season 2 of Damages sittin' on the shelf! So I was like !!! and drove over to Best Buy (cuz remember...the gift card). But when I got to Best Buy, Damages was nowhere to be found. And neither was someone who worked there. And I had to work that day, so I was like, "Fuck it" and just went home. Then, that weekend, me and my brother went out and I was like, we're going into Best Buy AGAIN and I am finding someone and finding out why the fuck they don't have Damages. And if they really don't have it, I'm just gonna buy it at Wal Mart. So we get there, and we find out that they have computers around Best Buy where you can type in shit and find out if they have it in stock. So I went up to one and typed in Damages...and discovered that it hadn't been released yet. Wal Mart must have made a mistake and put it out early. So I hauled ass over to Wal Mart...and Damages was nowhere to be found. Wal Mart had realized that they had made a mistake, and pulled it off the shelf DX So I waited until the actual release date, and went back to Best Buy. AGAIN. I went straight to the New Releases section...and it's not there. I'm about ready to bite someone's head off, when I see it on the shelf, in the regular DVD section...for $40 and I'm like HELL NO. Cuz when I searched it on their computers, it said the price was fonna be $30. So I took it up to the counter and told the dude, "PLEASE tell me this is on sale for 30. Your website says 30" so he checked and I was right and he did a price override and I got it for 30...which was still 5 more than the Wal Mart price. But like I said...I got the gift card FOR Best Buy FOR Damages. So yeah. That's my crazy Damages story. God, the things I do for that damn show, I swear...but it was totally worth it. I had already seen season 2, but my brother hadn't, and season 3 was scheduled to start the next week, and I wanted him caught up. Plus, I wanted to re-watch it cuz it's a pretty confusing show. So we watched 4 episodes that night, and then 9 the next day. Yeah, that's right, we watched an entire season of a show in 2 days, how's that for dedication? Hahaha, but anywayyys...hmmmm, what else has happened in the past month?...Oh, well, I've developed quite the obsession with Sigourney Weaver, THERE'S an interesting story! ...OK, first of all, I grew up watching Ghostbusters on an almost weekly basis, and I vaguely remember having at least a small crush on her in that movie, but not big enough to really make an impression. Since then, I'd see her in different things and think, "I really do not like that lady at all. I don't know why, but she gives me the creeps". And I went and saw Avatar on Christmas and thought the same thing ~_~; (although her avatar is ADORABLE) And I was telling Paige about this, and we exchanged several texts making fun of the woman. And at one point, she told me to google her so I could see this one particularly scary picture of her. And I did, and it scared the shit out of me. But what scared me even more was a different picture that came up...she was young and blonde and she looked...HOT. I immediately felt uncomfortable and Xed out of the page. But it was too late. I was intrigued. A few nights later, I see that this movie is going to be on TV...Aliens...starring Sigourney Weaver. That night, I locked myself in my room, shut the lights off, and watched it alone. And I was BLOWN AWAY. She looked pretty manly and scary in it, but she was SO BADASS I was like <3! And then a few days after that, I saw that the first movie of that series, Alien, was gonna be on TV...at, like, midnight. But she had me. I stayed up til 3am watching it. And was smitten with Sigourney (or as I like to say, and as my icon says, horny for Sigourney XD). Then, a few nights later, Alien Resurrection was on. If I was a dude, I would have had a boner during that entire movie, I'm not kidding. Not only does Sigourney look sexy as hellllll in it, but Winona Ryder's in it too. And the 2 characters act like they're gay for eachother. IT'S SO HOT <333 Then, a while later, I finally saw Alien 3 (yes, I watched all of these movies completely out of order, haha). Sigourney is completely bald in this movie. But by then, I was completely in love with her and it didn't matter. Just like right now, she's 60, but I'd still hit that. Even though there's still SOMETHING about her now that gives me the creeps, I don't care. And I've seen her on a few talk shows recently, and she's so sweet and down to earth and funny and cute and I just love her to death. Oh, and that picture from google, where she's young and blonde and hot as hell? It's from a movie called Galaxy Quest, which is turns out is one of Paige's favorite movies of all time. And on Saturday night, we watched it together (on the phone) and OH. MY GOD. Siggy is CRAZY hot in that movie. Like, jizz in my pants hot. And the movie's hilarious. So yeah. That's my Sigourney Weaver story. I think it may have something to do with the fact that your taste buds change every 7 years. Cuz now that I'm 21, I like mustard and onion rings...and Sigourney Weaver XD
....Happy birthday, Minnie Driver! XDDD;;;
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RIP Brittany Murphy </3 [Dec. 20th, 2009|10:22 pm]
Elle
'Brighter Side' - OPM

Sometimes
I forget that you're not here
Can't believe it's been a year
Since you flew away
And I never got to say goodbye
Good times
Hangin' out til the break of dawn
Listening to Bob
And singin along
Every little thing's gonna be all
It's gonna be all right...
No no no

I know that you're gonna fly
Somewhere brighter on the other side
And one day I'mma be there too
Where the sun is shining and the water's blue, yeah
I know that you're gonna fly
Somewhere brighter on the other side
I know you're somewhere where you're finally free
And you'll always be a part of me
Yeah you'll always be a part of me
Oh yeah
Like the moon is to the sea

They say
You don't know a good thing till it's gone
But I got to say they're wrong
I knew you were a good friend
A good friend all along
I wish the world wouldn't be so cold
As to take such a beautiful soul
But despite it all you know we gotta carry on
No no no

I know that you're gonna fly
Somewhere brighter on the other side
And one day I'mma be there too
Where the sun is shinin and the water's blue, yeah

I know that you're gonna fly
Somewhere brighter on the other side
I know you're somewhere where you're finally free
And you'll always be a part of me
Yeah you'll always be a part of me, yeah yeah
Like the moon is to the sea

If I could rewind time
Well then I'd like to let you know
Just one thing before your time go
That every moment you were livin was a blessing to me
And I saw inside of you things that others couldn't see
Now people put you down for the way that you lived
But those people never knew you the way that I did
Don't be ashamed of who you were or how you died
I know you just wanted to find the brighter side

I know that you're gonna fly
Somewhere brighter on the other side
And one day I'mma be there too
Where the sun is shining and the water's blue, yeah
I know that you're gonna fly
Somewhere brighter on the other side
I know you're somewhere where you're finally free
And you'll always be a part of me

I know that you're gonna fly
I know that you're gonna fly
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OMGWTFNO [Dec. 20th, 2009|02:50 pm]
Elle
[mood| crushed]
[music|Brighter Side - OPM]

WTF, BRITTANY MURPHY FUCKING DIED. GODDAMMIT. I'M SO BUMMED, I LOVED HER. SHE WAS ONE OF MY CELEB CRUSHES SO THIS IS GOING TO BE A ROUGH DAY FOR ME. (I tend to get a little obsessive with my celebrity crushes if youy haven't noticed). .......WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY DX FUUUUUUCK. RIP, LOVE, YOU WILL BE MISSED </3
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Happy belated birthday to Jennifer Connelly & Happy birthday to Shannon Woodward! <3 [Dec. 17th, 2009|02:22 pm]
Elle
[mood| restless]
[music|The Explosion]

Yeh, last Saturday was Jennifer Connelly's birthday, but I've been so busy with finals and whatnot, that I never got around to updating. But yesterday was the last day of the semester, so YAY. I hope I didn't fail any of my classes though. Especially since I already sold my books back =>.>;= But oh well, that's done and over with, I'm just gonna try and focus on the fact that it's CHRISTMAS BREAK! =^_^= This year was the first year that I didn't really know what to put on my list. Usually I ask for a bunch of T-shirts (usually from Hot Topic) and DVDs...but I've come to hate Hot Topic (it used to be all grunge and goth and punk and dark and cool and now it's all pop and girly and just...stupid) and there aren't really any DVDs out that I REALLY want. Season 2 of Damages doesn't come out until January. So I basically just asked for giftcards. And then I put The Nanny DVDs on there just so my mom and grandma would get off my ass about the fact that all I had on my list was giftcards. But I usually only get what I ask for from my grandma, while my mom buys me a bunch of stuff that SHE likes. And she already told me that's the case again this year. But this year, I guess I'm OK with it, since I don't want much anyway. Although it would be nice if she would have just got me giftcards....but whatever. Anyway, we're going to Indiana on the Saturday after Christmas...which is the day after Christmas. And then we're coming home the next day. I've never been a fan of the family gatherings (I don't rly have much in common with ANY of them), but at least this year, I'm 21, and will be able to drink. Although all my family drinks is beer, which I'm not too big a fan of. I'm more of a rum drinker. And I have a feeling my mom will think it "tacky" if I bring my own bottle of rum along, or a flask. So idk what I'm gonna do. I'll figure something out though. I am NOT gonna go through this sober when it's the first year, I'll be allowed to get through it by drinking. Maybe I'll just get a small bottle of coke or two and drink half and then fill the rest with rum and my mom will just think it's coke. Of course then I'll have to drink a certain number of beers so my mom doesn't get suspicious...which is OK with me, I guess. BUT ANYWAY...yeh, my mom's really been gettin' on my nerves lately about drinking. I only drink on the weekends, and I have, like, 4 or 5 rum & cokes, spread out...like 1 per hour. So I basically hit a certain point of drunk and stay there. Very rarely do I make it into the DRUNK or WASTED stage. And I sit on my ass and watch TV and play video games with my brother. And my mom's always like, "RACHELLE, HOW MANY HAVE YOU HAD?!" and shit like that. Every time I go get a drink, I get a lecture along with it. But I'm 21 years old and I'm drinking responsibly so idk wtf her problem is. It's not like I'm stumbling around and yelling or driving anything. I literally sit in the front bedroom and play video games all night. Which, by the way, I LOVE. Especially first-person shooters. I just now got into those types of games. I went out and bought Blackhawk Down and Half-Life (which I've yet to play, but plan on it this weekend). It's so much fun! It's 2 player, so me and my brother play it together and yell at eachother and get real pissed off, but then when we complete the mission, it's so satisfying, and we laugh about how pissed we were. IT'S AWESOME XD The only thing is that Blackhawk Down and Half-Life are 2 of the very few first-person shooters that are 2 player. Most of em are 1 player. And what kinda fun is that?! It's so much more fun to have someone else to share the frustration with. But anyways, yeah, that's one of my favorite drunk pasttimes, along with watching The Nanny (of course) and watching Las Vegas. There's just something about being drunk that makes that show so much better. And it's a kickass show anyway. Haha, you're probably thinking, wow, that's pathetic, you get drunk and sit on your ass playing video games and watching TV, while most people go to PARTIES and get drunk with OTHER PEOPLE. But I hate most people. Especially drunk people. Especially drunk people my age. Old drunk people are fun usually. But anyways yeah, I stay home and drink a little on the weekends and my mother basically tells me I'm an alcoholic, using alcohol to deal with my problems. NOT RLY, MOM. if I was doing that, I'd be getting shitfaced every day after skool and work. WHICH I DON'T. But OK, enough of that. IT'S SHANNON WOODWARD'S BIRTHDAY. In case you don't know who she is, she was on the The Riches, which was SERIOUSLY one of the best TV shows EVER. I have NO idea why it was cancelled, but it was. (Minnie Driver was in it too. YES PLZ) But there are 2 seasons out on DVD. Which I own. And so should you. And Shannon Woodward is one of my biggest crushes. LOOKCollapse ) I KNOW, RIGHT?! And she's actually close to my age! I have to assume that if Shannon and I attended high school together, we would have been high school sweethearts XD She's 25 today. Most of my celeb crushes are either way too old for me, or too young, as in not even legal yet. (DEMI LOVATO, SELENA GOMEZ, MIRANDA COSGROVE, ETC, DON'T JUDGE ME..) expect for maybe Emma Watson and Ellen Page, who are both too mainstream now. Especially Ellen Page. She's one of those girls that apparently, EVERYONE wants. Even straight girls. That annoys me. Like Megan Fox. Not only is she NOT that pretty, but so many people want to fuck her, that I rly don't. So out of all my crushes, Shannon Woodward is probably the one I would most want to actually date. Plus, she's prettier than Ellen Page. AND COOLER. YEAH, I SAID IT. God, I'm rambling so bad. And it's not even funny cuz I'm stone-cold sober. I need to go get ready for work. But first, I gotta say happy belated birthday to Jennifer ConnellyCollapse ) She's freakin' gorgeous. Requiem for a Dream, anyone? GREAT MOVIE if you haven't seen it. And she's in it. But seriously, I have to go get ready for work. I hope my next update is more entertaining than this has been.
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Happy birthday to Jennifer Carpenter! <3 [Dec. 7th, 2009|01:41 pm]
Elle
[mood| horny]
[music| Owl City]

I really need to be doing homework right now, but I just had to do a quick update since it's JENNIFER CARPENTER'S BIRTHDAY TODAY. HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYY <333


...so...fucking...HOT
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